change

Look at what the mid term stress has given to the right side of my face. :( Just got my biochemistry results back, got below mean this time, which also says that I did worst than the previous time. As for my Greek test, everyone's in the ninety range while I only got a 76. Well, I don't really feel so down as last time. To me, I'm starting to look at my university life in a different way.

I've been at the top for too long and I don't use to be so hyped about studying as I used to anymore. For me, university life is the last 3 years for me to enjoy before I step into my first career. I've set myself a limit, to fulfill my part as a student, maintain my scholarship and most importantly not to disappoint my parents. Other than that, I'm just gonna sit back relax and have fun while I still can. I'm not going to do much of the last minute studying anymore, have fun and study hard at the same time, strike a balance I would say.

You tend to be always in a part of a group when you're in university, let's say a group project which last throughout your semester. So the end of the mid terms doesn't really signify an end to my stress anyway. I still have an executive summary for the marketing competition which is due this Saturday and a course group project which is suppose to be done by the end of this month. Dealing with people is a thing that you'll learn when you're in university. Like what xianhui told me before I came to HKUST, you don't really get a clique when you're in a uni 'cause your classmates change from semester to semester. Well, I find it quite true but in my case I consider myself lucky as I only have 42 course mates who I know all of them and we'll be having our tough times together for the next 3 years. Also, for my friends, they aren't from the same class with me. We text and have random meals and talks together when we meet. :) Let's just say I'm contented for having a few familiar faces to hangout with.

I gotta admit that I'm not performing well here, some part of it I blame myself for being over-confident. I've gave up comparing myself to the others. Let me give an insight why, 80% and above of the people here are actually scoring full marks most of the time, it's insane but that's the way they roll here. I'm not sure if that's what they define uni life, as in to score only good grades and get crazily involve with the societies' activities, like having a meeting throughout the night and not having sleep for it. I'm not saying that it's wrong for you to score full marks, if you're smart then yea, but if you actually get a 99 and complain about it, well, you get what I mean.

LKF suddenly doesn't seem so appealing to me anymore for this weekend. I feel like skype-ing throughout my night, have a tight sleep and wake up when the sun shines on my butt. I know that won't happen as there won't be anyone with me to Skype with and I'll get calls during the weekends. :P

If you wanna ask, what happen to my weekly good food weekends? I've been having good food on the most random days now and even overspending on it. Just last night, I skipped lunch and had a hefty dinner which costs me $143. I'm so sick of the campus food and I tend to have the urge to go out and have some nice food most of the time. I have a lot of self-control on that, if not I would have been broke by now. :)

All I have to say is, everything's gonna change from now onwards and I have to start to get use to it. I hope for the best and pray hard that I don't screw up anything.

Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest.